Today I want to let you in on the Two Types of Filmmaking Confidence. As with most things we discuss here, these types of confidence can be seen in all walks of life – whether it be business, career, sport – we see it everywhere.
Knowing these Two Types of Confidence will enable you to not just work on them in yourself, but also recognize them in other people. Recognizing them in other people gives you a serious advantage when you come to work, deal with or negotiate with a person displaying these characteristics.
As well as that, recognising the Two Types allows you to help loved ones and people you care about to improve their own confidence.
I hope this article gives you some breakthroughs in mastering your own confidence, as well as being able to help people you care about with theirs.
A SHORT INTRODUCTION TO CONFIDENCE
When you think confidence, what do you picture?
An outgoing person who can speak to anyone?
Someone who runs around naked with no embarrassment?
Or maybe someone who has the courage to storm into the boardroom of a job they want and promptly tell their potential employers exactly why they’re the person for the job?
To most people, confidence is any or all of those things and more.
Like many of the concepts we explore on this site, confidence is subjective.
I think we’d all agree that, to take the above example one step further, someone storming into a boardroom naked and demanding a job is pretty darn confident. As well as a little psychotic.
For our purposes, we need to understand that there are two types of confidence: Specific Confidence and All Round Confidence.
Specific Confidence is the more common of the two types.
Many people you meet have some form of Specific Confidence. Do you have a friend who’s really loud and outgoing with a certain group of your friends, yet becomes a quiet little mouse as soon as he’s outside of that group? That’s specific confidence.
Know a bartender who’s great at talking to folks who come into the bar, but can’t string more than a few sentences together when outside of that environment? Specific confidence again.
What about a friend who’s great in a non-business setting, but when she’s around business acquaintances, she becomes a reserved and nervous shell of her former self? Specific confidence.
People who have confidence in a certain area are normally great in their favored environment. They’re accustomed to the reactions they get at work, it’s predictable and safe. There’s no unknown, they’ve been doing the same thing for years.
Likewise, the same can be said of the person who’s confident around a certain group of friends. They’re comfortable in that environment and display confident traits.
However, as soon as you take them out of that environment, they’re like a different person.
And it’s the same with the woman in the above example who has trouble communicating effectively with business acquaintances, but is charming and awesome with non-business people.
Once she’s out of her comfort zone, his confidence erodes.
I’ve seen examples where people have literally changed before my eyes when the environment (or the people within the environment) changes unexpectedly.
SEEING THE DIFFERENT TYPES OF CONFIDENCE
Here’s something you can try to see this even more clearly:
1. Go out and find three people who project a different kind of confidence.
2. What is different about them? What do you think their backgrounds are? Their experiences of life?
3. Which example appeals to you the most?
4. What kind of steps can you take to bring this confidence into your life?
Confidence is not an on/off switch that is either flipped or not, it’s more like a dial that turns over time.
Just like you can’t learn Japanese overnight, confidence takes time to learn.
We can align ourselves with confident behaviors and make great steps in the right direction in just one day, but real confidence, core confidence, is developed over time.
ALL ROUND CONFIDENCE
All Round Confidence is developed by consistently challenging yourself and putting yourself in a position to grow and improve.
Confidence comes to the person who’s willing to push themselves, to get out there and try new things. You have to do things you’ve never done, in order to get a result that you’ve never gotten.
This means getting out of your comfort zone.
Getting out of our comfort zones is a scary concept for many people. We are trained from an early edge to fear the unknown and to be careful when straying too far.
Babies are born with only two fears – a fear of loud noises and a fear of falling. Every other fear that comes afterwards is a learned behaviour.
Our parents warn us against every conceivable danger and our mothers constantly call us back when we stray too far in the park.
In this way, we’re really not trained to “get out of our comfort zone.” The mere thought of it is enough to turn people’s stomachs. But, let’s be honest, this is the only way we learn.
As the saying goes, “A ship in harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are made for.”
Recently, I went on a day out to a theme park with some friends. It was a long journey and everyone was excited and hyping each other up on the journey. I’ve never been a big fan of crazy roller-coasters and I made the mistake of laying it on the line whilst we were in the car on the way there.
Upon hearing about my “fear” and how I’m most likely going to chicken out of most of the big rides, my companions were drawn to my fear like flies. “What!? You? Scared!” quickly became, “We can’t wait to hear you screeeaaaammmm!”
Once I was there, things were different. Maybe it was some kind of subconscious decision I made in telling my friends, because the inevitable occurred and I was instantly subjected to that tried and true school-yard formula – peer pressure.
After a medium intensity ride to “warm up,” the majority of our group decided to go for the big guns and get in the line for one of the biggest roller-coasters in the park.
When I say majority, I mean everyone but me. And that’s when the craziness started. I soon found myself joining them in the line.
I had no choice. It was either that or sit it out somewhere for 45 minutes bored out of my mind – these lines are pretty long, after all.
It took everything in me to stay in that line and see it through – past all the warnings of “This is the most intense experience in the country!” and “Are you sure you want to continue?” on the signs we past.
I got on that ride and conquered a long-time fear. It was awesome, and I was a machine after that, taking on one crazy ‘coaster after another for the rest of the day.
It’s a mild story when you consider some of the struggles that people in the world go through on a daily basis – warzones that push people far beyond their comfort zones, for example. But I wanted to emphasize the point about just how important straying far from the shore is.
I got out of my comfort zone, had an amazing day and I’ll live to fight again, not to mention tackling even more roller-coasters in the near future.
We shall have no better conditions in the future if we are satisfied with all those which we have at present.
Those barriers are there to be broken down. Or, as Professor Randy Pausch put it so incredibly in his Final Lecture, “The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something.”
A SHORT MANIFESTO ON OWNERSHIP
If you want to achieve All Round Confidence you must develop an unshakable conviction as to who you are and what you deserve out of life.
As well as knowing what you want, you must also know what you deserve.
All Round Confidence is nearly always the same. There’s no fluctuation. It doesn’t depend on a certain mood, or emotion, or for you to be feeling a certain way.
It also doesn’t rely on the environment you’re currently in being favorable to you in the way that Specific Confidence does.
As we’ve mentioned on this site in the past, most people walk through life in a trance, living life with an emotional autopilot.
The average person looks for other people to define their value, to set the rules of their life and to tell them what they’re worth.
As successful filmmakers and business-people, we must use our confidence to set the standard ourselves, generating a clear view of everything that we expect from life.
Of course you’re going to come up against problems and struggles. Life is full of pressures – pressures to do a certain thing, act a certain way or believe a certain thing. But don’t be fooled by the temptation to be drawn in by these pressures and allow other people to decide your reality.
It’s yours. Own it.
Thanks for reading!