Today’s topic is quite hardcore and certainly not for the squeamish. We’re going to really get into the nitty-gritty detail of having a successful mindset.
We’re also going to touch on some subjects that might sound kind of egotistical. It’s not as ego based as it might first sound. Just roll with it – we’re building our mindsets, so a little ego stroking is naturally a part of it.
Let’s jump in!
Welcome To Your Reality!
Know that you’re a rarity. There is only one of you. There always has been.
Only one person in the world who has your outlook, your experiences and your reference points. You are unique.
Nobody can strip you of your unique value, unless you let them. Nobody can rob you of what’s rightfully yours, unless you hand it to them.
Once you learn to own yourself and your reality, amazing things start to happen.
Everything you are, everything you think and everything you will be can only be determined by yourself.
Do they have our experiences? Have they walked a mile in your shoes?
Of course not.
Now this isn’t intended to make you grow a head so big that it would compete with the likes of certain notable politicians! Alright, maybe it is a little bit. You are permitted to be just a little arrogant.
You are unique, after all.
Just don’t take it too far. Too many people take the “My Reality” ball and run with it. We’ve all seen them and can point them out in our daily lives.
By the time they stop running, they’ve usually alienated countless friends and acted awfully to untold numbers of people. That’s not cool.
If this is the first time that someone’s told you you’re unique and that you own your own reality, well then I’m sorry. But I’m also hugely excited for you. It’s a huge realization. Enjoy the eye-opening moment, but don’t let it go to your head.
It All Comes Back To Value
Let’s make it clear right now – your value comes from what you think about yourself, not what you think others think of you. Your fulfillment is from an internal source, not an external one. Your confidence comes from knowing exactly who you are, not from any kind of external reinforcement.
I’m going to use the “E” word here.
Entitlement. You are, well, entitled to it. As I sit here, I know exactly what I’m entitled to. Don’t confuse this with arrogance or self-delusion. I know myself, I know my value and I know what I’m entitled to.
Now, this is a controversial one. The world is full of people who are entitled, but can’t back it up. You have to walk your talk. Don’t be one of those annoying people who brag their lives away and don’t have anything to show for it.
Walk your talk.
Once you’ve done that, become entitled. Entitlement grants you the freedom to exhibit your confidence to the world. In exhibiting that confidence, you’ll naturally be presenting value to the people you meet.
Don’t fall into the trap of trying to create a form of confidence. So many people get stuck in that way of thinking – they believe they need the perfect body, or the perfect job, or the perfect business in order to be permitted confidence. It’s not some outside factor that you have to pursue in some never ending spiral of self-gratification.
Decide that your outlook on life is awesome, and it will become awesome.
Decide that the stories you tell are cool and interesting and they will be if you believe it.
This isn’t some wish-it-until-it-becomes true wishy-washy self-help stuff. If you think that, then we really need to have a chat about authenticity.
Dictionary.com describes authentic as “entitled to acceptance or belief because of agreement with known facts or experience.”
Authenticity, then, is the quality of being authentic, of being genuine. When you’re genuine, people notice. If you are coming from a position of being a authentic, then I’ve got news for you: There’s not a force in this world that can stop you.
People are interested to hear exactly what you think is interesting. It’s true.
They aren’t interested in what you think will impress them. Once you get to a point where you can express your personality authentically, from a position of value and entitlement, you will achieve great things.
This is owning your reality.
Acting In The Moment
When we regularly find ourselves in the moment, we start to gain a power that only a small percentage of people in this world experience.
To describe Acting In the Moment effectively, it’s best to paint a picture of a great meeting with a client.
We’ve all had it before, just an absolutely great meeting where everything seems to be going your way.
You’ve been able to hit all the points that you wanted to bring up and conversation just seems to slip off your tongue. You just feel “on” – everything you touch turns to gold!
People can’t wait to talk to you – you just feel like you’re riding a great wave of awesomeness.
This is flow state.
Those who’ve been here before know that the best way to get yourself into this brilliant place is to get out of your head. All the great meetings/work experiences/days on set you can remember having are most likely nights when you were out of your head – and, no, I’m not talking about intoxication!
You get out of your head when you live in the moment and become outcome independent. You don’t expect anything from anyone, least of all yourself…you’re just simply there.
Have you ever got so wrapped up in a deep conversation with a friend that you just completely lost track of time? It’s a form of mild hypnosis. You’re so engrossed in what each other are saying that you forget the past and the future – in those moments you are simply present.
You will have much better meetings and more successful and fulfilling interactions with clients if you seek to get out of your head and live in the moment.
There’s nothing to fear. There’s no need for these crazy swirling thoughts that bounce off the sides of your mind. It’s okay.
When you’re in the present, all those past incidents can’t hurt you. And neither do you have to worry about the future. You’re at your most alive.
Awareness becomes the key to the kingdom – a kingdom of Flow + Being On. Here’s a quote from the modern day philosopher Eckhart Tolle that really sums this up:
When you are present, when your attention is fully and intensely in the Now, Being can be felt, but it can never be understood mentally. To regain awareness of Being and to abide in that state of “feeling-realization” is enlightenment.
I hope this post helped you to understand that it’s your reality and you own it. Owning your reality = confidence. And when you’re at your most confident, you’re able to present the most value to the world.