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One subtle thing that I’ve really found makes a lot of difference to my interactions, whether they be filmmaking related (on-set, for instance) or otherwise, is using people’s names!
It may sound so simple, but this is a powerful thing to do. And, as we know, sometimes the simple things are the most powerful.
I’m not about to give you a lecture on winning friends and influencing people. This is a small on-set habit that changed how rooms feel. That’s it. If you already do this, skip to the bit about when it gets weird. If you don’t, it’s a tinier lever than another lighting diagram, and it affects directing, clients, and crew.
How I Was Before Using People’s Names Regularly
Like I say, I know it sounds very minor, but this is something that has boosted a lot of my rapport with others, as I never really used to do this.
I’d normally just use “man” or “dude” or “mate” or something. Sometimes I wouldn’t even use one of those, I’d just say a sentence without mentioning the person’s name.
I guess I got by in social situations by just having good tonality and using eye contact, among other things, to let people know who I was talking to. I’d only really use people’s names when I was referring to them whilst speaking to another person.
That sounds awful now that I type it out. I certainly wasn’t doing this to try to be rude or antisocial.
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Why Using People’s Names Is Better All Round
I suppose quite a few people do this, but I decided it was more effective to use people’s names. It makes them feel closer to you in interaction and develops a deeper rapport.
I wouldn’t say that not using names is rude (and I certainly wasn’t doing it consciously), but since I noticed the effect using names has on people, I realized it was a positive conversational tool.
When we start to consciously become aware of the way in which we communicate, suddenly our communication becomes so much more succinct and effective.
Since I’ve made a concerted effort to use people’s names whilst I talk to them (whether they’re an old friend or a new acquaintance), I’ve noticed a big difference in people’s receptivity and rapport level with me.
Using people’s names in conversation makes them feel closer to you, I guess. Try it, if you don’t already.
That’s the original point, and I still stand by it. Here’s where it actually matters for us — and when to knock it off, because used like a sales script it makes my skin crawl.
On Set: The AD, The Talent, The Client
A film set is a name problem waiting to happen. People arrive in a rush. Half of them are “the camera guy.” The other half are “the client’s friend who is helping.” If you are trying to direct actors — or even just run a small video day — “mate” shouted across a car park is not direction. It’s fog.
The AD (or whoever is actually running the floor). Use their name when you need something, not as decoration. “Sarah, can we hold for sound?” lands. “Can we hold for sound?” shouted at a group of people who are all busy does not. You are not being formal. You are being clear. Clarity is respect on a set.
Talent. Actors, presenters, the CEO who has never been on camera and is sweating through his shirt. Their name is one of the few things they still own in a room full of kit. “David, that was great — let’s go again, a bit quieter on the last line” is a note. “That was great, let’s go again” is a note aimed at the air. If you want to become a director people will actually follow, start by aiming the sentence at a human being.
I use the name at the start of a note, not every three words. One hit. Then the direction. Then leave them alone to do it. You’re not trying to hypnotise them. You’re trying to make sure they know the next sentence is for them.
Clients on set. This is the one that saves jobs. The client is often slightly lost. They don’t know when to speak. They hover. If you say “Anna, we’re going to do one more of this and then I’ll show you a playback,” Anna knows she has a place in the day. If you never say Anna, Anna starts directing from behind you because she feels invisible. Names are not magic. They are a way of putting someone in the picture without giving them the camera.
Same with the runner, the makeup artist, the guy who owns the location. You need Thanks, James when James did the thing.
Client Calls And Crew Intros
Before the set, there’s the call.
I used to jump straight into the brief. Gear, times, deliverables. Efficient. Also a bit like talking to a booking system. Now I use their name once near the top — “Alright Mark, thanks for making time” — and once when I’m asking for a decision. “Mark, if we lock Friday, I can hold the kit.” That’s it. The call is still about the job. The name just stops it feeling like you’re reading a script at a stranger.
When you start a video production business, you will have a lot of these calls. The ones who hire you again are often the ones who felt like you were talking to them, not to “the client.”
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Crew intros are even simpler and even more often skipped. You get a mixed bag of freelancers who have never met. If you are the one who booked them, introduce people with names and roles, out loud, once, at the start.
“This is Priya, she’s sound. This is Tom, he’s on camera with me. Lisa’s our client today.”
It takes thirty seconds. It prevents a morning of “sorry, what was your name?” If you’re building a filmmaker career on repeat collaborators, this is how you stop treating people as interchangeable. Someone new at lunch? Do it again. Short. Names. Roles. Move on.
When Not To Overuse Names (This Is The Salesy Bit)
Alright. The warning.
If you say someone’s name every other sentence, you do not sound warm. You sound like you’ve been on a course. “So, John, what I hear you saying, John, is that the brand, John…” — stop. That’s a timeshare. Nobody on a set wants a timeshare.
Don’t use a name as a weapon. David. David. Look at me. Unless you’re actually in trouble and you need to cut through chaos, that’s not leadership, that’s a headteacher. Don’t do it to talent who are already nervous.
Don’t use a name you are not sure of. Guessing Steve when it’s Steven and then barreling on is worse than “mate” for a minute. Ask. Get it right. Then use it.
Don’t use names in the edit bay to show off that you remember the intern. If you’re performing memory, people can smell it. You can be quiet and slightly awkward and still use names. The habit is small. Keep it small.
A Simple Way To Actually Remember Them
I’m not going to give you a palace of memory or a rhyme for every face. I forget names. Everyone forgets names. The trick is to stop pretending you don’t, and to give yourself one beat to lock it in.
When I meet someone, I say their name back once, in a normal sentence. “Nice to meet you, Rachel.” Not Rachel, Rachel, Rachel. Once. Then I try to attach one dumb hook that is actually true: Rachel, red coat. Tom, tall. Priya, boom op. If I didn’t hear it, I ask again immediately. “Sorry, I didn’t catch your name.” That sentence is not embarrassing. Waiting an hour and then never saying their name is embarrassing.
On a call sheet, I read the names out loud before I get out of the car. Sounds silly. Works. On a bigger day I scribble first names next to roles in a notebook, glance, put it away. You’re not studying for an exam. You’re trying not to be the director who calls everyone “mate” for twelve hours.
That’s the craft, guys. Names on set for clarity, on calls so the client feels like a person, in intros so the crew is a crew. Then shut up about it — the second this becomes a technique you perform, it stops working.
Thanks for reading!
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