One subtle thing that I’ve really found makes a lot of difference to my interactions, whether they be filmmaking related (on set, for instance) or otherwise, is using people’s names!
It may sound so simple, but this is a powerful thing to do. And, as we know, sometimes the simple things are the most powerful.
HOW I WAS BEFORE USING PEOPLE’S NAMES REGULARLY
Like I say, I know it sounds very minor, but this is something that has boosted a lot of my rapport with others, as I never really used to do this.
I’d normally just use “man” or “dude” or “mate” or something. Sometimes I wouldn’t even use one of those, I’d just say a sentence without mentioning the person’s name.
I guess I got by in social situations by just having good tonality and using eye contact, among other things, to let people know who I was talking to. I’d only really use people’s names when I was referring to them whilst speaking to another person.
That sounds awful now that I type it out. I certainly wasn’t doing this to try to be rude or antisocial.
WHY USING PEOPLE’S NAMES IS BETTER ALL ROUND
I suppose quite a few people do this, but I decided it was more effective to use people’s names. It makes them feel closer to you in an interaction and develops a deeper rapport.
I wouldn’t say that not using names is rude (and I certainly wasn’t doing it conciously), but since I noticed the effect using names has on people, I realised it was a positive conversational tool.
When we start to conciously become aware of the way in which we communicate, suddenly our communication becomes so much more succinct and effective.
Since I’ve made a concerted effort to use people’s names whilst I talk to them (whether they’re an old friend, or a new acquaintance), I’ve noticed a big difference in people’s receptivity and rapport level with me.
Using people’s names in conversation makes them feel closer to you, I guess. Try it, if you don’t already.
Thanks for reading!